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Sugar For My Coffee, Issue #004 -- THE SURGE OF THE URGE
March 23, 2004

Here is your latest issue of Sugar For My Coffee

Dated March 23, 2004
Issue #004

This issue is dedicated to the celebration of home and family. Matters of the family because family matters.

*Sugar For My Coffee Mission*
To journey each month into The Coffee Shop of Make-Believe. While there, through cyberspace technology and the click of a mouse, we can enjoy a cup of coffee together as we get to know some of the most influential mentors of life empowerment of our time. Our presence together becomes, "Sugar For My Coffee".
Published by Stan Leffew

If you like this e-zine, please do a friend and me a big favor and "pay it forward". If a friend DID forward this to you, and if you like what you read, please subscribe by visiting here.


* Monthly Mentor - The Coffee Shop of Make-Believe
* Perspective - Letter To The President
* Journey With Jessica - A Woman's Role
* Couples Corner - The SURGE of the URGE

Monthly Mentor - The Coffee Shop of Make-Believe

Welcome to another issue of Sugar For My Coffee. This is the one segment I try to include in all my writings.

The Coffee Shop of Make-Believe is open. Please, come on in and join us.

She said, "You need to plan and schedule dates together. Write these dates in your daytimer the same way you would a business appointment. Relationships are a serious business."

Marriage; the ultimate celebration of love and romance! The challenge of couples becoming one in marriage is ever increasing. Our guest today in The Coffee Shop of Make-Believe offers her insight for maintaining magnificent marriages that do not succumb to the trauma of divorce.

Today's coffee break guest: Michele Weiner-Davis

Michele Weiner-Davis
Michele maintains a private practice in Woodstock, Illinois called The Divorce Busting Center. There she counsels couples and families from all over the world and has been doing so for two decades.

For years, marriage therapist, Michele Weiner-Davis, the director of this center, has committed her life to helping couples make their marriages work and keep their families together.

Additionally, Michele travels nationally and internationally to offer inspirational and educational seminars. She has been a frequent guest on talk shows such as Oprah and news shows such as 48 Hours, The Today Show, CBS News, and CNN. Her work has been featured in major magazines and newspapers.

But perhaps her greatest credential for being a relationship expert stems from the fact that she and her husband have been together for twenty-seven years and she's still madly in love with him. She claims that on most days, he would say the same about her.

Some works by Michele Weiner-Davis are:

* The Divorce Remedy
* The Sex-Starved Marriage
* Divorce Busting
* Change Your Life and Everyone In It

Those of you who are familiar with this segment of my work know that you can join us for this coffee break any time you wish. You only have to grab a cup of coffee, pull up a seat at the table and get to know our guest. You can do that now by visiting the following Website on the INTERNET.

For Michele Weiner-Davis visit here.
For more about me visit here.

Did someone say, "Pass The Sugar, Please"?

Perspective - Letter To The President

This is the area of our newsletter where we try to take perspective of things.

Dear Mr. President,

I write this letter with great humility and respect for your position and office.

Please allow me to say thank you for your willingness to serve my family, and indeed, other families from all across this great land.

I did it!

I did what you suggested in your latest "State Of The Union Address" and took the time to thank a couple of young men in uniform for their service to this country.

It was amazing!

In each case their faces revealed the warmth and gratitude they felt to have someone they didn't know acknowledge and thank them for their sacrifices.

I also wish to say thank you for your passion to stand up for perhaps the greatest and most important of all issues confronting us today - MARRIAGE. Your willingness to stand up and fight for the sanctity of marriage, family and the home only seems to be matched with your desire to model this same approach in your own life and relationship.

It is our belief here at that,

* The "State Of The Union" stands or falls on our "Union" within the state.

* The greatest threat we face as a nation is not to our BORDERS but to our BOUNDARIES. When we fail to protect our BORDERS the result is loss of life that affects thousands. When we fail to protect our BOUNDARIES the result is loss of way-of-life that affects millions for generations to come.

* MARRIAGE is central to the strength of this great nation. We believe that the greatest gift we will ever give the world is a stable home.

May God's grace continue to shine down on this great nation and on everything that makes any nation great FAMILY!

May God's face shine on you as you continue to model in your own life the view of this Website that it is better to be wanted for a "Lifetime of Nights" and not just a "Night of a Lifetime".

Thank you for bringing family values and honor back to the White House.


Stanley J. Leffew

That's this month's perspective. All the best!

Journey With Jessica The Woman's Role

This segment helps us add a bit of estrogen to the testosterone mix of our newsletter.

Hi everyone! Jessica here!

You ever consider the role we women play in building a home-life for our family? Have you ever considered that our part in it all may be significantly different than our husband's role?

Challenging topic for me to choose as this month's JOURNEY WITH JESSICA, huh?

My husband had the enjoyment a few years ago of enlarging his interest by taking almost two years of Ballroom Dance lessons. This experience has added so much more to our lives and our relationship than just fun and romance. It teaches us some things about the role we each play in our relationship.

Have you ever watched those wonderfully romantic Fred Astaire movies and noticed how over and over the man leads and the woman follows while they dance? When I was learning how to dance with my husband I had to come face-to-face with this reality. If both of us tried to have the same role and lead, dancing was impossible. If both of us tried to have the same role and follow, again, dancing was impossible.

Is this possibly what many couples are doing in their marriage relationship?

Are couples possibly getting the roles mixed up?

Instead of being lengthy in my discourse this month, I want to direct our readers to a couple of resources that, if nothing else, may provide some thoughts to ponder about the roles we each play in relationships. If you will not get hung-up about the titles, you just might find these resources helpful and find they streeeeeeeeeeeetch you a little as well.

For the married reader of our Newsletter or those wanting to be married, please take a look at this resource.

For the readers of our Newsletter who are single I offer this helpful resource for your review.


Hope you enjoyed our journey. Until next month!


In this segment, we will share timely thoughts and articles on relationship building.

Have you ever heard the expression, "The Urge to Merge"? It is a term relating to sexuality and marriage. The "URGE" symbolizes sexual interest, and the "MERGE" symbolizes marriage union.

We see it all around us! Late night TV bombards us with sexual images and sensual content. Commercials that have nothing to do with sex use a sensual foundation to market to the masses.

More than ever in history our minds seem to be more interested in the sex-drive channel than in channeling the sex-drive.

We call this, "The SURGE of the URGE".

Let's travel back in time about sixty years before we became so technologically advanced and started opening up the bedroom door for anyone with an appetite and "prying eyes".

Many of the older generation know of what time I speak! Back when some things were still considered sacred and "The SURGE of the URGE" was yet in the future.

It used to be that life was about marriage and family principles. It used to be that faith and family were the criteria for determining life success. In other words, it was about the "MERGE". Family and relationship building principles for living was the norm.

Then came The Beatles, Elvis, Rock-and-Roll and yes, Hugh Hefner and Playboy.

Gradually our society began to shift its thinking and embrace a mindset for the "URGE" itself. The sexual revolution stepped onto the horizon, and "The SURGE of the URGE" was born and became the focus. Sadly, and to our demise I might add, the "MERGE" has been placed on the shelf and in many cases mocked and ridiculed.

For over fifty years now we have been a world dominated with a fascination for the "URGE".

Playboy, Penthouse, Hustler, Strip Clubs, Porn Movies, Girls Gone Wild, Spring Break, Wild On, etc. The Music Industry lyrics display this same "URGE" mentality and, of course, let's not forget the recent Halftime Super Bowl antics.

We even went through a time in recent history where the "URGE" became the main topic of conversation surrounding the Presidency of the United States.

Maybe, instead of just enacting and enforcing laws and high-dollar fines...maybe, instead of just issues of censorship...maybe, instead of just battling it out in the boardroom and courtroom...maybe we should do something so foreign as to go back to the shelf, dust off the idea that marriage and family life is where it's really at and get our focus back on the importance of the "MERGE".

Being wanted for a "Night of a Lifetime" can never fully satisfy, fulfill or replace the greatest longing of our hearts for being wanted for a "Lifetime of Nights".

Let's all consider taking the "MERGE" down from the shelf. Marriage and family life will always play the greatest role in our civilization.

The greatest gift we will ever give the world is a stable home.


Comments? Ideas? Feedback?

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