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Sugar For My Coffee -- Elvis, Cheap Imitations and Life Lessons on Love, Sex and Relationships
December 30, 2009

Here is your latest issue of Sugar For My Coffee

Dated, December 30, 2009

*Sugar For My Coffee Mission*
To journey each visit into The Coffee Shop of Make-Believe. While there, through cyberspace technology and the click of a mouse, we can enjoy a cup of coffee together as we get to know some of the most influential mentors of relationships and life empowerment of our time. Our presence together becomes, "Sugar For My Coffee".

Published by Stan Leffew

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  • Monthly Mentor - The Coffee Shop of Make-Believe
  • Perspective - Elvis, Cheap Imitations, and Life Lessons on Love, Sex and Relationships
  • Journey With Jessica - Becoming a Woman of Beauty


If you haven't visited my site lately, take a moment of leisure and venture over there. The site has a new look that many are really enjoying. Also, if you are glad for the voice of this site and its message, please take a moment to tell me about it. I always enjoy hearing from my readers.


Monthly Mentor - The Coffee Shop of Make-Believe

Welcome to the segment I like to call, Sugar For My Coffee!

Here we discover the individuals with whom this author would be most honored to sit across from and enjoy a coffee break. I close all my writings with this entrance into The Coffee Shop of Make-Believe to introduce my readers to another Success Mentor for life empowerment. That person's presence at the table would be Sugar For My Coffee!

This is a very special issue of “Sugar for My Coffee.”

I have been writing the content of my website, newsletter and ebooks for over five years, and one of my dreams recently came true. I actually got to enjoy a coffee break with one of the imaginary guests of The Coffee Shop of Make-Believe which you visit through this ezine.

That's right, it really happened!

I'll tell you who the mystery guest was in a moment, but here is how it all unfolded.

I got an email from one of my imaginary coffee shop guests informing me that she and members of her team were coming to our city for a special speaking engagement. After stating how much she enjoyed my writings, she asked if my wife and I could join her for a REAL coffee break while they were in town.

This was a lady I had just recently watched being interviewed by Kathy Lee Gifford on MSNBC's Today show about her latest book. I already knew a previous series of books she participated in as a co-author has had millions of copies in print, and that she is a prolific international speaker.

Needless to say, the prospect of meeting this gifted author and speaker was a thrill for my wife and me.

As our scheduled evening for sharing a coffee break drew near, a conflict of schedules became apparent. Not to worry! She and her team worked it out to stay an extra day so we could all have this special evening together. I would soon find out that one of her greatest passions is encouraging and mentoring other writers & speakers to become all that God desires of them.

As I sat there with my wife at a local Starbuck’s awaiting their arrival, we spoke to each other about how far our journey in life and writing had come in five years. A father’s passion to add his own voice to the mix of those being heard in our world had brought us to this special moment.

For the next three hours, we would all share a moment in time that I and my lovely bride will never forget. It was as if two comrades of a common battle were joining together for a time of encouragement and battle-worn rejuvenation. It was such a special night, and the memory of it all will forever be painted on the canvas of our hearts.

As my wife and I walked away from them into the darkness, we rejoiced over the memory of an evening spent with one of the great lights in the world. The memory of her encouraging words and vigilant prayer for championing our cause still lingers in our lives.

So, who is this mystery lady?

Ladies and Gentlemen, meet Shannon Ethridge!

If her name sounds familiar to you, perhaps you have been blessed to read some of her books. She is the author of 18 books, some of which are:

"Every Woman's Battle" and "Every Young Woman's Battle"

The latest book she was being interviewed for on MSNBC's Today show is titled, "The Sexually Confident Wife."

Those of you who are familiar with "Sugar For My Coffee" know that you can join us for this coffee break any time you like. Simply grab a cup of coffee, pull up a chair and get to know our guest. Through cyberspace technology and the click of a mouse, go now and get to know Shannon Ethridge

For more about me visit here.

Did someone say, "Pass The Sugar, Please"?

Couples Corner -

Elvis, Cheap Imitations, and Life Lessons on Love, Sex and Relationships

I sat there in disbelief as the room came alive with excitement, and in a "standing room only" crowd, electricity was in the air as he took center stage.

I had never been to an Elvis concert before. Although his music and unmistakable voice had illuminated the solitude of our home for many years, I had never seen a live performance.

The costume he wore seemed to capture the radiance of the lights and bounce their effects all around the room. Anticipation was so thick in the air you could almost cut through it with a knife, and the screams of adoring fans was deafening. In this atmosphere, I came face-to-face with one of life's greatest lessons on love, sex and relationships. Continue reading and I'll show you what I mean.

He sang old familiar tunes like "Are You Lonesome Tonight," "All Shook Up," "Blue Suede Shoes," and "I Can't Help Falling in Love with You". His antics on stage left everyone in the audience spellbound and exhausted.

That's when it happened!

He took his sweaty bandana, wiped even more sweat off his stage-lit brow, and in mid-song tossed it into the audience.

Now, imagine this in slow motion with me. The bandana slowly unravels as it floats through the air. The air blowing in the building causes it to rise and carry across rows of fans from all ages and walks of life. As it moves through the air, for what seems an eternity, the room falls silently captivated in the moment. As the neck scarf seems to extend itself in mid-air, the effects of the stage lights cause shadows to dance across the faces watching intently with amusement.

I remembered seeing this many times at his concerts on TV. The audience always fell all over each other trying to get the bandana. Fights would even ensue as people anywhere near the falling kerchief flocked to capture their prize of the night. The sweat of Elvis became the sweet of Elvis to anyone going home with this prize in their possession.

With all this in mind, imagine the surprise I felt when everyone in the building moved out of the way and let the kerchief hit the floor. Not a single person was drawn towards it, even worse, they moved away to give it plenty of room to drop onto the floor. For just a moment, it seemed as if someone had let the air out of the room like one would a balloon, and a pause in his performance on stage seemed to reflect a crush to the old ego.

He wasn't sick, he looked bathed, seemed to have good hygiene, and the bandana he tossed appeared to be clean and fresh.

So, what was the problem?

The answer is simple!

The man on stage was an Elvis IMPERSONATOR, and people everywhere know the difference between A CHEAP IMITATION AND THE REAL THING.

What, you may be wondering, does this have to do with a great lesson on love, sex and relationships?

You ever notice how the voice of culture around us seems to have us so quick to accept the cheap imitation when it comes to love, sex and relationships?

  • Heart hungry for DESIGN, we feed on DESIRE
  • We make our sexuality more about how much LEG-I-SEE than about LEG-A-CY
  • We buy in to the sizzle of relationships but sell out the soul of relationships
  • The HEAT UNDER OUR SHEETS seems more important than the HEART UNDER OUR SHIRTS
  • We make relationships more about "TURNING ON" than "TUNING IN"
  • We devote more energy to the "URGE" than we do the "MERGE"


Where has our love affair with marriage and family life gone?

Why do we value a night of a lifetime more than we do a lifetime of nights?

Why is our focus more about passion and pleasure than promise and permanence?

Why are people so quick to toss away legacy?

Why has sex become something many embellish instead of something they relish?

The definition of embellish is: a fictitious touch added to a factual account, to add adornment, to add beauty, to increase interests by adding details

People who relish sex find pleasure in its purpose, while those who embellish sex find purpose in its pleasure. People who embellish sex are easy to spot. They are those you see:

  • Lusting for pornographic pleasures
  • Building shrines and/or business empires devoted to sexual pleasure
  • Lost in pixel imagery enticements projected by magazines, movies and/or the Internet
  • Captivated by skin flicks and shock-jock programming
  • Mesmerized by music lyrics full of vulgarity and music videos empty of decency
  • Fueling their thirst for "skin-is-in" at bottle-soaked strip clubs and Spring Break beaches
  • Seeking out night clubs, peep shows and vacation spots that delight in hedonism


Our world is full of Elvis impersonators who are just imitations of the real thing. For there to be an imitation, though, there also has to be the "real," and it is the "real" that brings so much value to the imitation.

So, when it comes to sex, love and relationships, consider something with me. If so much attention is given to the imitation, how much greater must the "real" thing be?

Think about something else with me!

I don't mean to step on your blue suede shoes, but are you all shook up and lonesome tonight because you're wallowing around on the floor of life embellishing over a sweaty and cheap imitation that is getting you laid but not loved, lots of LEG but no LEG-A-CY, DESIRE but no DESIGN, and a head filled with sex but a heart that is empty?

In case you haven't noticed, it is easier to fool our hormones than it is to fool our hearts. Amazing thing about the heart …… it tends to know a cheap imitation when it sees one.

©Copyright advice-for-lifetime-relationships
by Stanley J. Leffew

Some of you didn't see the brand new video I posted last issue entitled, Being a Man in a PlayBOY World. Here it is again.

Journey With Jessica – Becoming a Woman of Beauty

Hi again everyone!

Lately, I have been reflecting a lot on beauty. I would like to introduce you to a place you can go if the cultural idea of beauty seems as lacking to you as it does to me.

You won't find these beauty secrets in the latest issue of Cosmopolitan, and you can't buy them at the cosmetics counter either. Discover the dos and don'ts of REAL beauty, and find out how you can become a beautiful woman, at any age!

Visit here for more on Becoming a Woman of Beauty

SPONSOR: Ladies, how would you like to become the kind of woman than men adore and never want to leave? If you find you are able to attract a relationship but sometimes struggle keeping it, find out how you can become the kind of woman men adore.

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