Definition of Marriage -
A Couple Committed to Relentless Pursuit of One Another for Life

by Stanley J. Leffew

Discover this definition of marriage
and watch your relationship soar!

He flew to his feet, and with one fluid motion launched towards her with a bound. With great determination etched across his face the relentless pursuit continued, and it was obvious nothing was going to stand in his way.

"Stop right now!" shouted his mom.

His dad echoing the charge added, "Stop immediately!"

Didn't even slow him down!

The obstacles lying on the floor blocking his path didn't even faze him, and the hands of his mom and dad reaching for him might just as well have been invisible. He just blew right by them continuing his relentless pursuit.

What I just described for you is a natural occurrence around our house lately. It seems our son is serious about his younger sister not picking up something that belongs to him. Fortunately, for me, out of it would come a definition of marriage that would help set the precedence for success in the relationship my wife and I enjoy together.

Perhaps you have seen it, too!

Many of you reading this probably remember the helicopter video of a chase scene involving, what seemed like, every police officer in Los Angeles and a certain white Ford Bronco. I know I will never forget this example of relentless pursuit that ultimately led to the trial of the century.

There are multiple examples of relentless pursuit one can think of, but I would like to turn our attention to why the definition of marriage is a couple committed to relentless pursuit of one another for life.

I. Couples committed to relentless pursuit of one another are not easily disengaged

Like my son in the story above, it is hard to disengage them from their passionate and relentless pursuit. They embrace a life lived for the enrichment of their spouse, and nothing is going to detour them from that focus. They establish a set of boundaries that govern their commitment to relentless pursuit of one another and then wisely maintain those boundaries.

Neglecting boundaries has been the ally of many an affair.

You know the progression! The conversation at the water fountain at work becomes the laugh by the lockers becomes the lunch by the lake becomes LEG-A-CY replaced for how much LEG-I-SEE.

You're skimming Facebook looking for "Friends" and come across you-know-who. "Should I or Shouldn't I," you question yourself. You shouldn' do....and the "I do" promise of your marriage is soon challenged. Sure, there's more going on in this example than Facebook, but we are talking about respecting the boundaries.

The first boundary crossed makes stepping over the next one easier, and before long, the boundary lines become less and less defined. How many affairs could have been prevented with proper respect for the boundaries?

II. Couples committed to relentless pursuit of one another are not easily distracted

My wife and I were grabbing a bite of food at the Mall one night and noticed a young couple coming towards us. The young girl clasped his hand in true vice-grip fashion, and the look of satisfaction on her face was evident. They couldn’t have been more than sixteen, but you could just tell she took pride in being his one-and-only.

As this young couple passed by our table we almost fell out of our seats laughing about the irony. On the back of the young man's black t-shirt he sported where these words in bold white letters:


Couples in relentless pursuit of one another may have t-shirts with cute sayings on them, but EASILY DISTRACTED is usually not one of them.

A man in relentless pursuit of his wife discovers that Vivacious Veronica caressing her curves by his cubicle doesn't cast the same spell on him as it does others. A woman in relentless pursuit of her husband hardly notices Ted the Terrific turning his teasing talents of temptations her direction.

III. Couples committed to relentless pursuit of one another are not easily disenchanted

Stan-Land is a place my wife was often accused of going while we were dating. She would be in deep thought about something and someone would tease her about being in Stan-Land. More often than not, by her own admittance, that is exactly where she would be.

Over a decade of marriage later, and with a wiser definition of marriage, my wife still goes to Stan-Land. I have a confession of my own. I am enchanted by my wife and practically every day of my life I go to Jessica-Land. In our marriage, both of us get more and more enchanted with one another as the years go by. Being in relentless pursuit of each other has this magical effect. You see…


When you are a couple committed to relentless pursuit of one another you can't help but elevate that person's value in your world. As you do this, prepare to be enchanted! Start living out this definition of marriage in your own marriage and see if it isn't so.

In the book of the Bible "Song of Songs (Song of Solomon)" there is a great example of what relentless pursuit looks like and why it makes for a great definition of marriage.

1 I looked for the one my heart loves;
I looked for him but did not find him.

2 I will get up now and go about the city,
through its streets and squares;
I will search for the one my heart loves.
So I looked for him but did not find him.

3 The watchmen found me
as they made their rounds in the city.
"Have you seen the one my heart loves?"

4 Scarcely had I passed them
when I found the one my heart loves.
I held him and would not let him go…

So, how about it! Is your definition of marriage a couple committed to relentless pursuit of one another for life? If not, start relentlessly pursuing your spouse and see if you don't find yourself echoing this same sentiment;

"I found the one my heart loves
and I will not let him/her go."

©Copyright by Stanley J. Leffew

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