7 Funny Reasons Women Could Never Bond with a James Bond

by Stanley J. Leffew

Women could never bond with a James Bond type guy in her life. We'll take a humorous look, just for fun, at why this is so.

Just the other day I was driving down the road and noticed a Ferrari coming towards me. With one quick turn of the wheel, it crossed over the median in front of me and quickly accelerated out of sight.

As I watched the tail lights of this beautiful car disappear into the evening shadows, my mind quickly went back to all the James Bond Agent 007 movies Hollywood has given us through the years. I also thought of how appealing the character James Bond has been with the ladies, and as I did, I came up with some funny reasons women could never bond with a James Bond type man in her life.

Here are 7 funny reasons women could never bond with a James Bond:

  1. He doesn’t exist! No man on the planet has the capabilities to dance a tango that would put Fred Astaire to shame on the dance floor, dress in suits he never messes up (even when fighting international assailants and hair-triggered hitmen), use gadget gizmos he has never tested before without losing a limb, and do it all while throwing out glib one-liners that leave you marveling in his suaveness.

  2. It's hard for any woman to not know where her man is, having to go 2-months or 2-years while he vanished from sight doing his secret agent duty would drive her nuts

  3. No woman could handle sitting through ten failed gadget attempts after asking her man to simply take out the trash

  4. Sworn to secrecy in his job, a woman couldn't survive not knowing what her man does with his day-to-day

  5. The smell of perfume that isn't hers would understandably lead to all kinds of doubts and suspicion

  6. Spilled wine stains the color of lipstick on his collar is an explanation that only works a time or two before any woman wises up

  7. There's a reason he is called Agent 007
  • He is 7 times more likely to break your heart
  • He is 7 times more likely to give you an STD
  • He has at least 7 more women in 7 other countries he is stringing along just like he is you
  • He has 7 Ferrari's he would value more than he values you
  • He can't commit faithfulness to you more than 7 days, maybe not even 7 hours
  • He has 7 children from 7 other women that are competing with you for his time
  • He answers to at least 7 different aliases that leave him distressed about his own identity (you'll never know who you are bonding with because he doesn't even know)

So, now you know the 7 funny reasons women could never bond with a James Bond type man in her life. I hope this makes the ordinary but dependable man sitting in there with his TV remote more appealing to you.

Remember this, though, there is a little Bond in every man, so link your heart in love very carefully. Also, be aware that long blondish white hair is probably not coming from a cat. Contrary to what he may be telling you, every man does not have a "Dr. No" in his life.

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