Sex in Marriage
and The Value of the Dollar

Sex in marriage seems to be losing its esteem around the world.

Have you noticed it, too?

Is it possible that we are cheapening sex in this "anything is permissible" society we live in today?

For a clearer understanding of this question, lets take a moment to compare sex and the value of the dollar.

Some alarming statistics I've recently come across:

According to a new study by the National Center for Health Statistics:

  • 96% of Americans between the ages of 20 and 59 have had sex, concluding that 4% of U.S. adults are virgins.
  • Overall, only 11% of unmarried adults are virgins.
  • 15% of all adults abstained from sex until they were 21.
  • For all men, the median number of partners was 6.8 and for all women 3.7

In this mornings Houston Chronicle, I just read the story about the brand new survey release findings by the AARP regarding sex outside of marriage compared to their previous survey findings in 1999.

The survey findings for 1999 showed that 41% of people over 45 viewed sex outside of marriage non-favorable. Today, the survey findings show only 22% of people age 45 and older view sex outside of marriage non-favorable.

Stats like these seem to show that sex in marriage embrace is just one of many options for the human sex drive. I have to wonder, is it possible that culture is SELLING THE SIZZLE, but STEALING THE SOUL of relationships?

My concern, being a father of three, is that our children are growing up in a world that PROMISES PASSION, but has no PASSION FOR PROMISE.

I think Donald Miller, in his book, "Father Fiction" speaks volumes to these type statistics. In the chapter, "Sex: the Value of the Dollar in Argentina" he offers this challenge to a group of fraternity brothers to whom he has been invited to speak.

They have just opened up to him about their sexual exploits and their intent on continuing their sexual prowess ways. He looks them in the eye and simply asks them not to forget the value of the dollar as they do.

Stunned, probably just like many reading this now, they asked him what he meant.

He went on to explain how currency devaluation leads to a very unstable financial foundation. In his discourse, he reminds the students of the demise of countries in history whose currency devaluation led to financial demise. He went on to say,

"There are smart guys in Washington and New York who spend a lot of time making sure the value of the dollar stays high."

Donald Miller proceeded to compare for these fraternity brothers the value of the dollar with the same value esteemed to sex in marriage. He explained how the stability and strength of any nation is reflected in the value it places on marriage, family life, and by not cheapening sex in our minds. (I have been saying for years, "What we ELEVATE becomes what we CELEBRATE, and what we PUT DOWN becomes what we KICK AROUND.")

Donald Miller's point was well understood by these young men, and I think we would all do well to consider his words ourselves.

As statistics like those I've shared above continue to show our slide from the traditional value given to sex in marriage, maybe we should all take into consideration Mr. Miller's challenge. Maybe, we should all take a good long look at sex and the value of the dollar.

Well said, Donald!!!

┬ęCopyright by Stanley J. Leffew

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1: Losing Our Reality in a Sea of Sex and Sensuality

2: Where are the Real Men and Real Gentlemens Clubs?

3: Sex and the Value of the Dollar

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