Is dating Christians an Issue?
The Role of FAITH in Relationships
Is dating Christians important? What role does faith and religion have in relationships and marriage?
How often have I heard these type questions over the years?
Should I get relationally involved with someone who does not consider church important?
Is marriage richer through spiritual compatibility?
Why should I concern myself with religious concerns, dating Christians or spiritual compatibility anyway?
Now I know that the issue of religious differences is an important one, but I hope to convey that it is far more important for our lives, and not just our date lives, to answer the issue of the HOLY.
Instead of just issues about dating Christians or religious differences in relationships, let’s look at what I mean by HOLY CONNECTION within The FOUR-H FORMULA!
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PSALM 135: 15-18
“The idols of the nations are silver and gold, made by the hands of men.
They have mouths, but cannot speak, eyes, but they cannot see;
they have ears, but cannot hear, nor is there breath in their mouths.
THOSE WHO MAKE THEM WILL BE LIKE THEM, AND SO WILL ALL WHO PUT THEIR TRUST IN THEM.“
A HOLY CONNECTION
Why is this connection important? (Perhaps this will help answer the question about dating Christians.)
One of the biggest reasons is that our religious perception will determine how we live and who we are. You see, what we believe plays out into our lives, and we become in our actions like the god we worship.
I remember watching a documentary on TV. It was one of those shows that reveal what life is like in tribal areas.
I watched in horror as the people of the tribe stuck long needles through their face during a religious ritual. Some of them had as many as ten needles stuck through their faces, and each needle punctured their jaw, mouth, tongue and teeth.
The pain this inflicted on each of them was so obvious. With faces contorted and writhing in pain, they continued with the ritual.
They believed in a god of pain.
They believed that by inflicting themselves with pain, their god would honor the ritual and chase the evil spirits away from the tribe.
I couldn’t help thinking as I watched this documentary, with different gods, the people of this tribe would be different people.
Don’t miss the words, “with different gods, the people of this tribe would be different people.”
Faith really does affect the very core of who we are! Our perception of God will determine the lives we live. (Psalms 115: 2-8, Psalms 135: 15-18)
If our faith teaches us that we should be afraid of God, we will live our lives trying to appease his anger. If we believe that God can’t wait to rain down on us fire and brimstone, this, too will show up in how we live our lives. It isn’t only about dating Christians, it’s about the total approach to how we live our lives.
Dating Christians or not, the greatest thing one can do to enhance their life is to settle the issue of the HOLY in life. Even if one chooses not to believe in God at all, this too, will show up in how they live.
Believe what you want to believe, but understand that your perception of God will indeed affect how you live.
THE ROLE OF FAITH IN RELATIONSHIPS
The “Holy” enhances relationships by showing us how to live life “ON PURPOSE”.
Lack of faith = Faithlessness
Show me someone without a faith-based life, and I’ll show you someone who may not admit it, but has a life with many moments of despair, loneliness and hopelessness. Dating Christians may help shelter one from some of these type issues.
It’s called Nihilism!
Nihilism just states that life has no meaning. We’re here today, tomorrow we die, so lets eat, drink and be merry. Each day becomes another day of merely surviving and being content with just being alive.
Is plugging your life into a relationship with this type of a person really a good thing? Would these things be as present if you did consider dating Christians in your relationships?
When people without a faith-based life are blindsided with obstacles and tragedy, I often wonder if they ever lean a little closer than they would ever admit to some of the answers a faith-based life provides.
Faith = Faith-full
It’s not just a play on words; it’s a fact!
A faith-based life helps answer life’s questions. Why am I here? Where did we all come from? What is my purpose? Is this all there is? I learned some of these things over the years by dating Christians. They just seemed to be more at rest with life.
Have you ever noticed how life without faith is boring and empty?
How often have we heard the Biblical book of Ecclesiastes quoted? It states, “…there really is nothing new under the sun. The seasons come and the seasons go. There’s a time to be born and a time to die, a time to laugh and a time to cry, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing.” (Ecclesiastes 3: 1-5)
The writer means, apart from faith, life becomes some big revolving door of endless cycles of nothingness. Meaningless! This is why it becomes more than just an issue about whether one should be dating Christians or not.
He isn’t giving some romantic interlude about the seasons. The whole theme of Ecclesiastes is about the meaninglessness of man’s existence apart from knowing God.
Life, as the writer puts it, “UNDER THE SUN” is a continuous treadmill of meaningless existence apart from God. Life apart from God and the answers found through a faith-based life will leave us wanting. (Maybe, this should inspire my readers towards dating Christians.)
Over and over I have seen that faith-based living leads to fullness, and fullness leads to better lives and better relationships. If people who are faith-based lead lives of fullness, perhaps the whole issue of dating Christians and religious differences takes on new light.
Faith = Faithful
Faithfulness is one of the greatest things about faith-based living. In fact, if your faith isn’t developing you into a better person, I would suggest taking a hard look at what it is that you believe.
Faith is all about helping us be more loving, trustworthy and dependable people.
When I was single and dating, I found this to be true more when dating Christians, than any other time. And, the last time I looked, faithful, loving and trustworthy people made better relationship partners.
Whether it’s concerns about dating Christians or religious differences in general, if you want your relationships to be empowered, don’t ever look past the importance of connecting with that special someone spiritually.
Don’t just make it an issue about dating Christians or spiritual unity! Remember, our perception of God will affect how we live our lives, and that’s what it’s really all about.
Don’t take religious differences or dating Christians for granted, though. We really do need to surround ourselves with people that are right for us in our relationships.
ACTION STEPS YOU CAN TAKE
1. Decide today to take spiritual living more seriously.
2. Find and attend a church somewhere consistent with your faith.
3. Begin associating with other faith-based people. (For some of you, this might even mean dating Christians.)
4. Become a student of what you believe.
If you subscribe as I do to the Christian faith, I suggest you begin by researching the following material. It may not answer the concerns you may have about dating Christians, but you will find yourself encouraged about what you believe.
Josh McDowell started a journey several years ago to disprove the doctrines of Christianity. Not a believer himself, he set out through educational research and historical validation to shake the very foundations of Christian belief.
His findings not only changed his mind, they changed his heart. He not only embraced the very doctrines he set out to discredit, he is even one of the greatest contenders for the faith the church in our century has.
His writings are as follows and can be found in bookstores everywhere.
Is he (Jesus) Lord, liar or lunatic? Sounds almost wrong to ask such questions. Josh answers the tough questions about who Jesus is.
Josh answers the critic. It may not be about dating Christians, but you will find out what skeptics are asking about the Christian faith.
More evidence for faith. How to give the right answer when confronted with questions about the Christian faith.